"Torque Affair" (torqueaffair)
03/25/2016 at 20:41 • Filed to: car ownership
2
19|
"Torque Affair" (torqueaffair)
03/25/2016 at 20:41 • Filed to: car ownership | 2
| 19 |
Over the past few months, I’ve been on a kick to own and go through as many cars as I can. This has meant that I’ve gone from selling my
!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
to owning a modified 350+ hp
!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
, briefly contemplating holding onto a
!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
and now daily driving a 450+ hp
!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
. The problem with owning cars that are powerful is that you are viewed as an insecure human being trying to establish world dominance by cowering behind a loud V8 or a turbo-charged 6-cylinder. Unless you’re driving my current car–the IS-F. In that case, no one suspects a thing.
My colleagues are so confused . They have no idea what the hell I’m doing. Neither do I. I’m blowing my cash on cars, albeit, in the least wasteful way possible by buying and selling heavily depreciated vehicles. I am, however, wasting lots of money on gas by driving cars that average around 10-15 mpg depending on my mood which is dependent on whether or not I am able to properly binge-watch enough shows on Netflix, HBO, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Showtime.
I visit gas stations so frequently that the folks running them know me by my overall shape and are bewildered by my constantly changing rides.
“Who is this guy constantly driving in these different cars?” “Is he a valet?” “Is he stealing them?”
They must think that I’m a murderer with the unsuspecting victim stashed in the trunk of my newly stolen car.
So, why is owning a powerful car like owning a mansion?
Driving these kinds of high performance vehicles is like living in an expensive home. Let’s say you land a high paying corporate job or sell your business, and you decide to burn a million dollars on a nice home. You’re paying more in property taxes alone than you would spend on apartment rent and your monthly water bill can feed a family of four for a year. Your reaction to this might be, “You’re an idiot! Where I live, a million gets me a dump!” If that’s the case, then you should immediately leave whatever city you’re in!
This kind of lunacy is not worth it. You spend tons on college degrees or throw away so many years of your life building a successful business only to live in a dump for a million dollars? Leave San Francisco and move to Tulsa today where you can comfortably reside in a palace for only $200K.
Now, imagine, that you fall on hard times and need to downgrade from your $200K estate to a 1 bedroom efficiency studio. The thought of moving into what feels like a prison cell is unbearable. You’d rather jump off a cliff than downgrade your lifestyle.
This is what I’m now facing in the car world. I love fast cars . And unfortunately, I’ve been owning and driving a lot of fast cars which means that it will be impossible for me to own a car that’s significantly slower. I’ve fallen squarely into that trap of continually paying more and more money for gas, spending more and more money on fast cars and cementing my reputation in society as being a weak and pathetic human.
But I can’t help myself. I love powerful cars. Now, keep in mind that I have a budget of roughly $30-$40K which limits me to certain kinds of high powered used cars of varying degrees of age that I can find within this price range. I could potentially get my hands on the following (all used): ZL1, E63 AMG, 996 turbo, CTS-V, E60 M5, Shelby GT500, Viper among others.
Most of these cars draw an incredible amount attention which is mostly a bad thing. This just means that people will stare at me all the time–they will look at me wondering where I got those really cool driving gloves.
So, why is owning a powerful car is like being addicted to crack cocaine?
For a long time I was hoping to own an Audi S5, but now I have no interest in one because 333 hp is hardly enough anymore. You might think that having a 500 hp car is completely pointless as a daily driver but it’s not. This is where owning a powerful car is like being addicted to drugs. I can’t say that I’ve personally been addicted to drugs but I imagine it’s probably similar to what I experience with fast cars.
Whenever I need a hit of acceleration, I just floor it. Assuming there’s just enough empty road to experience a quarter of a ‘G’, I do it. I love propelling forward, even if it’s just for a millisecond before I have to back off. But that’s enough. Little hits of speed, wherever and whenever I can get it.
Accelerating from a stoplight or right after taking a turn is so much fun. Especially if you’ve had an insane day filled with a horrible office chair, powerpoints and retirement cake celebrations, experiencing raw power on open roads is so enjoyable. For daily commutes, who cares about handling excellence or track dominance when all you’re doing is going from one stoplight to the next. Corner-carving ability goes straight out the window.
I’ve found 400-500 hp to be kind of the sweet spot when it comes to vehicle power. It’s not an extreme amount of power, but high enough to where you grin like an idiot every time you floor the gas pedal. 300-400 hp isn’t bad, but I need more!
So, you see, owning these kinds of cars is kind of like owning an expensive home and being hooked on heroine at the same time. It brings out the worst in you. So my recommendation is to avoid falling into this trap. Do the practical thing and buy a practical daily driver, like a 10-year old Honda Civic. Then go bug people like me to drive their car to get yourself some automotive enjoyment. In the meantime, spend your money on other things–like $99,999.99 on a 4K curved UHD 105 inch LG 3D Smart TV.
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! is about exploring my fascination with cars. I’m always on the lookout for things that interest me in the car world.
Follow !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
Like !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!
Nibby
> Torque Affair
03/25/2016 at 20:54 |
|
THIS is a powerful car.
THIS car below is not.
sm70- why not Duesenberg?
> Nibby
03/25/2016 at 21:03 |
|
I follow your logic completely, if “following your logic” means the same thing as “calling a shrink for you”.
|
Nibby
> sm70- why not Duesenberg?
03/25/2016 at 21:46 |
|
The psychologist tried...
benchslap
> Torque Affair
03/26/2016 at 07:21 |
|
I get it. But I went from E39 M5 to E60 M5 to 987 Boxster and even with a 50% power cut I don’t regret a thing. I honestly don’t think a Boxster S or even a 997 Turbo Cabrio would be more fun. Sometimes adding lightness is more fun than adding power.
That's gonna leave a mark!
> Torque Affair
03/26/2016 at 08:04 |
|
So this is kind of like saying if you love boats, make a friend with someone that has a boat, or a ski condo, beach house, hunting cabin, apartment in the city etc, etc, etc?
AMGtech - now with more recalls!
> Torque Affair
03/26/2016 at 11:47 |
|
Lucky for me my employer pays me to “ be addicted to coke”.
Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
> Torque Affair
03/26/2016 at 19:53 |
|
If you’re looking for feedback, this was a difficult read, and you seem to misunderstand your audience.
Syscrush
> Torque Affair
04/14/2016 at 11:51 |
|
The surest cure for addiction to fast cars is to stop fucking around and get a motorcycle.
Then you realize: there are no fast cars .
With your budget, you could get something sexy like a Panigale or RSV4R Factory and do 50 track days.
CobraJoe
> Torque Affair
04/14/2016 at 16:41 |
|
300-400 hp isn’t bad, but I need more!
I must ask... What exactly are you looking for in? Simply knowing you have that much power under the hood? Insane acceleration? The sensation of speed?
Because, other than the bragging right of high HP figures, you might be better served with a lighter and simpler car.
High powered luxury cars are amazing vehicles, they are designed to remove all of the little annoyances from the chore of driving. However, those same luxuries like sound deadening material and cushy suspension add a lot of weight and make the driver more removed from the sensations of driving the car, like the sensation of speed.
So, just a suggestion, before you go buy your next hit of super high horsepower leather wrapped luxomobile, go test drive something small and simple, like a modded Miata or an older muscle car. You can get a lot of adrenaline from something like those with a lot less power.
Dose_of_reality
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
04/14/2016 at 19:29 |
|
“The problem with owning cars that are powerful is that you are viewed as an insecure human being trying to establish world dominance by cowering behind a loud V8 or a turbo-charged 6-cylinder”
I was like what? I’ve only ever heard of the steroetype towards lifted pick ups
|
Torque Affair
> Syscrush
04/14/2016 at 19:43 |
|
Oh man, I’m sure if I would kill myself accidentally if I owned a crotch rocket!
|
Torque Affair
> CobraJoe
04/14/2016 at 21:34 |
|
mainly acceleration and sensation of speed. From a daily driving perspective, there are lots of opportunities to accelerate quickly and merge onto freeways and such which make having lots of torque fun. I’m used to a certain level of acceleration now and so anything slower will seem boring.
FC3Smknrwby
> Torque Affair
04/24/2016 at 19:18 |
|
What do you do for a living to afford $30-40k cars? I want your job! Please provide me with this crucial insight as you are now my favorite Jalopnik scribe!
|
Torque Affair
> FC3Smknrwby
04/24/2016 at 19:55 |
|
Hahah, I’m a product manager. It’s been a long and windy career path for me but I’m happy to chat about it if you have questions. Feel free to shoot me an email at torqueaffair@gmail.com
|
FC3Smknrwby
> Torque Affair
04/25/2016 at 05:16 |
|
I felt it was a long shot to ask you in the comments section, but I’m happy you responded. Thanks for sharing, and will do!
jbona3
> Torque Affair
04/25/2016 at 10:26 |
|
This is....so accurate. I recently went from an ‘11 E92 M3 to an ‘06 4Runner and I miss the sensation of mashing the fast peddle and being sucked into my seat. I love the ‘Runner, and it’s great in the Northeastern weather...but I miss it.
|
itranthelasttimeiparkedit
> Syscrush
04/25/2016 at 15:37 |
|
Yeah that is what reduced my need for speed. Honda 919 is faster than anything I can afford anytime soon. Now I am content with 300ish HP...
|
Torque Affair
> jbona3
04/26/2016 at 05:34 |
|
Ah, you should’ve kept it! Maybe you can buy one again in the near future.
|
kitchenaire
> Syscrush
05/01/2016 at 14:06 |
|
What do you ride?